It is very simple,

2014-11-25 · 첨삭 강사 Nina

학생이 쓴 원문

We can make them stop watching inappropriate thing with simple thing. Cut your internet wire. Don't let them exposure to internet again. I think It is the best way to stop it. but, I think the detuor way to let them stop watching bad thing is showing them another interesting things. Habbit is so powerful that we can't vanish it without dominant effort. but If it is good habit, it can be exchanged with bad things. Reading book is seemed like not interesting but there are many childran who really enjoy reading book everyday. Like a watching badthings in internet, they became addicted from it. In my case, I need a lot of time to escape from playing computer game. because it was too addictive to turn off the game. It is too powerful, but Since I found my Carolyn, I haven't played computergame. She helps me. As you can see in my case, We need something more powerful than bad things

강사 첨삭

Great ideas again.

Thanks, I am so happy that you are so proud of your girlfriend.
I am sure that if she can read this. She will feel great.

We should always look for interesting things to get rid of bad habits.

Have a great night.

Teacher Nina


We can make them stop watching inappropriate thing with simple thing.

>> Did you mean: We can stop them from watching inappropriate shows by doing it simple.
Cut your internet wire.

>> Cut your internet connection.

Don\'t let them exposure to internet again.

>> Don\'t allow them to be exposed to the internet again.

>> Better: Don\'t let them use the internet again.
I think It is the best way to stop it.

>> I think those ways are the best to stop them.
but, I think the detuor way to let them stop watching bad thing is showing them another interesting things.

>> But I think a detour to let them stop from watching bad things is showing them another interesting program.
Habbit is so powerful that we can\'t vanish it without dominant effort.

>> Habit is so powerful that we can\'t get rid of it without effort.
but If it is good habit, it can be exchanged with bad things.

>> Did you mean: But if it is a good habit, it can night be changed to bad things.

Reading book is seemed like not interesting but there are many childran who really enjoy reading book everyday.

>> Reading books seemed like not interesting but there are many children who really enjoys it.

>> OR: Reading books seemed not interesting but there are lots of children who really enjoys it.
Like a watching badthings in internet, they became addicted from it.

>> Like watching bad things on the internet, they become more addicted from it. 
In my case, I need a lot of time to escape from playing computer game.

>> In my case, I need a lot of time to escape from playing computer games.  
because it was too addictive to turn off the game. It is too powerful,

>> Because it was too addictive to stop the game. It is too powerful.
but Since I found my Carolyn, I haven\'t played computergame.

>> But since I met Carolyn, I haven\'t played computer games that much.
She helps me. 

>> correct
As you can see in my case, We need something more powerful than bad things

>> correct

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