It is widely believed that children of different levels of intelligence should be taught together, w
학생이 쓴 원문
Thank you always.
강사 첨삭
Hi Ye [이름]!
You\'re always welcome.
I would encourage you to separate your ideas into different sentences.
It would make the essay more organized and easier to understand.
I hope that you would be motivated to continue writing and practicing.
I\'ll talk to you next week.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
There are many ways to teach children in study. >> There are many ways to teach children how to study.
Especially, people want to develop study system for
intelligent children.
>> People especially want to develop an educational system suitable for intelligent children
Therefore, some people believe that separating education which means studying
themselves in special class is effective than studying together with ordinary children in normal class.
>> Therefore, some people believe that an exclusive education, which means studying by themselves in a special class, is effective than studying with ordinary children in a normal class.
This
essay will discuss the opinions whether separating education or mixing study (together with ordinary
children) is good for intelligent children and end with my opinion.
>> This essay will discuss the opinions whether an exclusive education is good for intelligent children or not and I would express my opinion as well.
The people who insist the separating education for genius children believe that they need special system
because normal education in class can be boring to and it cannot help those children to improve their
talents.
>> Supporters of exclusive education for genius children believe that the latter need a special system because usual methods can be boring and might not help those children improve their talents.
Already there are various methods for teaching those children over the world and many scholars
study and develop the methods.
>> Currently, there are various methods of teaching children all over the world and many scholars study and develop these methods.
However, the others have different thoughts.
>> However, others have a different opinion.
The separating education
have possibility that makes genius children to focus on study only and decrease their emotional and
creative sense in their lives.
>> An exclusive education can make genius children focus on studying alone and neglect their emotional and creative needs.
It also makes discrimination along friends and eventually those children will
be isolated from society.
>> Discrimination can also be promoted among their peers and can eventually lead to the children\'s isolation from society.
Therefore, they persist people should give a same chance to them and they can
decide additional education after class or just study and play like ordinary children.
>> Therefore, they insist on equal opportunities provided to the children and they could just exercise the option to allow the kids to attend special classes or play like ordinary children.
In conclusion, I believe we need give the same chance to intelligent children as like normal children
because education cannot be beyond life.
>> In conclusion, I believe that we need to give the same chances to intelligent children and normal children because education cannot be used to promote separation.
However, it is true there are some special children who need
special taught for their lives, we can make additional education for them not for regular education.
>> However, it is true that there are some special children who need special instruction in their lives and so, we can make special education available for them.
Therefore, even though we think those children need some unique learning, it can be decided by them
and their families not by others.
>> Therefore, even though we think those children need some unique way of learning, the decision ultimately lies on the families.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.