It\'s not the right culture to follow the celebrities\' glamour and wealth.
학생이 쓴 원문
Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements. Some people say that this sets a bad example to young people. Do you agree? Answer in 5 sentences or more.
Yes, I agree. There are two reasons why I think like this. First, celebrities are those who are more influential than other people. It means that people are easy to imitate them. In fact, young people really do love to imitate and show in their SNS. They sometimes follow indiscriminately because of their desire to show up. Second, the desire of young people to imitate celebrities creates their own customs. And this also makes bad atmosphere like they try to exclude the groups who are not following them.
강사 첨삭
Hi Sue!
I completely get what you mean.
You have stated some valuable examples in your composition.
Thank you for always making an effort to do your homework.
This is good practice for you.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Yes, I agree.
>> Correct
There are two reasons why I think like this.
>> There are two reasons why I think this way.
First, celebrities are those who are more influential than other people.
>> First, celebrities are more influential than other people.
It means that people are easy to imitate them.
>> It means that people usually imitate them.
In fact, young people really do love to imitate and show in their SNS.
>> In fact, young people really do love to imitate and show in their social media.
They sometimes follow indiscriminately because of their desire to show up.
>> They sometimes follow others indiscriminately because of their desire to show off.
Second, the desire of young people to imitate celebrities creates their own customs.
>> Second, the desire of young people to imitate celebrities creates their own values.
And this also makes bad atmosphere like they try to exclude the groups who are not following them.
>> This also creates a bad environment like they try to exclude the groups who are not following them.
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