it's second part of the essay...Ha!! coming soon!

First of all, as Korea’s society is getting developed, Koreans need to work a lot more and longer even with skipping their meals. This causes Koreans to find out fast food, rather than healthy food which takes some time to prepare. As a result of this, Koreans tend to get fatter than before, eating fast food, what we called, “junk food.” Even though they have been already warned that junk food cause serious health problems through media and medical research paper, our society forces Koreans to be in hurry at all times. For instance, my husband should always eat lunch and dinner at his company owing to the time-limit and normally the food on the menu at the cafeteria consist of lots of fast food, containing chemical seasoning.

First of all, as Korean society is getting developed, Koreans need to work a lot more and longer even with skipping their meals. >> First of all, as Korean society is getting developed, Koreans need to work a lot more and longer to the point of skipping their meals. (The expression "to the point of"is the better idiom rather than "even with" because "to the point of" expresses "a result" while "even with" means "equal to" and this does not express a result. This causes Koreans to find out fast food, rather than healthy food which takes some time to prepare. >> This causes Koreans (to resort to/ go for/ opt for ) fast food, rather than healthy food which takes some time to prepare. (Any of these: to resort to/ go for/ opt for, are better than "find out" because this means "to discover" and I am sure Koreans already know about fast food and need not to discover them.) As a result of this, Koreans tend to get fatter than before, eating fast food, what we called, "junk food". >> As a result of this, Koreans tend to get fatter than before eating fast food, what we call, "junk food". (1.)Remove the comma after "before". 2.)The verb "call" is present tense because until today we "call" them junk food.)  Even though they have been already warned that junk food cause serious health problems through media and medical research paper, our society forces Koreans to be in hurry at all times. >>Correct. (ONLY: 1.) research papers, 2.) "in a hurry") For instance, my husband should always eat lunch and dinner at his company owing to the time-limit and normally the food on the menu at the cafeteria consist of lots of fast food, containing chemical seasoning. >> For instance, my husband should always eat lunch and dinner at his company owing it to the time-limit and normally, the food on the menu at the cafeteria consists of lots of fast food containing chemical seasoning. (1.)"owing it" 2.)"consists" 3.) put a comma after "normally" 4.) remove the comma after "fast food")