Jack and the Beanstalk

2012-10-15 · 첨삭 강사 Klein

학생이 쓴 원문

Jack's house is very poor. So His mom tell him go to market and sell the cow. So he goes to market. He meet old man on street. He says "This been is magic been!! Change my bean!" So Jack get magic been. But Mom yells him and very mad. Jack is very angry. He throws magic been on the ground, Next day, ground has very long beanstalk! He climbs and goes to monster's house. And He stills many things. One day, Monster sees him and grasp at him!!! But Jack cut the beanstalk with ax. And than Monster falls down and die. Also Jack's house is very rich and very happy^^

강사 첨삭

Hello there!

Happy Monday! Thank you for writing the story of Jack. This is a wonderful story and I hope you have learned the moral of the story.

~Teacher Grace~

Here are the corrections I made on your story:

Jack\'s house is very poor.

>>Correct!

OR >> Jack\'s family is very poor.

So His mom tell him go to market and sell the cow.

>>One day, his mom asks him to go to the market and sell the cow.
So he goes to market.

>>He then goes to the market.

He meet old man on street.

>>He meets an old man on the street.

He says \"This been is magic been!! Change my bean!\"

>>He tells him, \"This bean is a magic bean! I want to exchange it with your cow.\"
So Jack get magic been.

>> So Jack takes the magic bean.

But Mom yells him and very mad.

>>At home, his mom yells at him and she is very mad.

Jack is very angry.

>> Correct.

He throws magic been on the ground,

>>He throws the magic bean on the ground.
Next day, ground has very long beanstalk!

>> Next day, a very long beanstalk grew on the ground.

He climbs and goes to monster\'s house.

>> He climbed it and he reached the monster\'s house.

And He stills many things.

>> He stole many things from the monster.
One day, Monster sees him and grasp at him!!!

>> One day, the monster saw and tried to grab him.

But Jack cut the beanstalk with ax.

>> But Jack ran and cut the beanstalk with an ax.

And than Monster falls down and die.

>> The monster fell down and died.

Also Jack\'s house is very rich and very happy^^

>> Jack\'s family is now very rich and happy.^^

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