Job and university graduation.

2020-03-30 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

People commonly believe that it is more beneficial to graduate university in order to get a decent job since its degree works as a credential in many societies. While this is true, especially in South Korea where more than 80% of high school graduates move on to universities or colleges, I firmly believe that we should put emphasis on practical work experieces and related skills concerning students\' future career. Spending years in a university just because everyone does the same is pointless as well as a waste of time and money. Students are thrown in the middle of the harsh competition that promises winner the brightest future, having no chance of reckoning what they really want. They could finally end up with fabulous jobs that are envied by others but irrelevant to their own desire or talent. For the sake of the individuals\' hapiness, it would be better to give high school graduates time to reflect on their future and to shed light on the worthiness of having work experiences.

강사 첨삭

Hi Drexel! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this one. I really appreciate the effort.
So in other words, you would prefer that the education system must focus more on the skills the students have rather than emphasizing more on the academic area. ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah 

People commonly believe that it is more beneficial to graduate university in order to get a decent job since its degree works as a credential in many societies. 
>>CORRECT
While this is true, especially in South Korea where more than 80% of high school graduates move on to universities or colleges, I firmly believe that we should put emphasis on practical work experiences and related skills concerning students\' future career. 
>>CORRECT
Spending years in a university just because everyone does the same is pointless as well as a waste of time and money. 
>>CORRECT
Students are thrown in the middle of the harsh competition that promises winner the brightest future, having no chance of reckoning what they really want. 
>>Students are thrown in the middle of the harsh competition that promises the winner/s the brightest future, having no chance of reckoning what they really want. 
They could finally end up with fabulous jobs that are envied by others but irrelevant to their own desire or talent. 
>>CORRECT
For the sake of the individuals\' happiness, it would be better to give high school graduates time to reflect on their future and to shed light on the worthiness of having work experiences.
>>CORRECT

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