July It's me ~
학생이 쓴 원문
continuing....
My dream is to become an 'art therapist' who cures handicapped people with art. There are two reasons. At first, I really like art especially drawing. I like to draw plaster statues,shapes, and somethings in the nature. I have my own collection of my works. Secondly, My brother is an autistic student. He always yells and jumps around me. He is very big, but mentally, he is just a little child. Because of my brother, I am interested in the people who have mental problems. After I become an art therapist, I will cure their disease and make them happy with art. I really want to help them. That's why I want to be an 'art therapist'.
To be continued....
강사 첨삭
See you tomorrow and take care of your brother..^^
I'd like to hear more of your compositions..
continuing....>>continuation..My dream is to become an 'art therapist' who cures handicapped people with art.
>>My dream is to become an 'art therapist' who helps handicapped people recover through art expression.
There are two reasons.
>>CORRECT^^
At first, I really like art especially drawing.
>>CORRECT^^
I like to draw plaster statues,shapes, and somethings in the nature.
>> I like to draw plaster statues,shapes, and some things in nature.
I have my own collection of my works.
>>CORRECT^^
Secondly, My brother is an autistic student.
>> Secondly, my brother is autistic.
He always yells and jumps around me.
>>correct
He is very big, but mentally, he is just a little child.
>>He’s all grown up but he thinks like a child.
Because of my brother, I am interested in the people who have mental problems.
>> Because of my brother, I am interested in with people who has mental problems.
After I become an art therapist, I will find cure for their disease and make them happy with art.
>>After I become an art therapist, I will cure their disease and make them happy with art.
I really want to help them.
>>correct
That's why I want to be an 'art therapist'. >>correctTo be continued....
>>correct
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.