Just writing.
학생이 쓴 원문
Korea is changing
i was born in Busan and Now i'm living home in Change Won city.
i don't definitely know when i was baby, but as my mother said.
my family was very poverty. maybe these are saying over thousand i heard from my mother.
anyway, we're living the middle classes of society in Korea.
i guess, my nation lost alot of things during the war from 1945 to 1950.
in some ways, it looks worldwide asepct.
in 1939, the second world war.
it was occured from Germany.
the war was finished circa 1945.
i'm wondering about the war.
why some power people did wars occur?
i ask myself.
it can simply answer, to conquer, to dominate.
i know these are people basically desires.
but i guess carefully, the nation top authority wants history.
their name or achievements.
i don't be obivous, if i were them, i also tried some achievements.
at the conclusion of my thought.
the war don't occur in future.
i hope.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]!
I am happy to read you composition about Korea and War.I really hope that war won\'t happen again in the future.
T. Lara
Korea is changing.>>Correcti was born in Busan and Now i\'m living home in Change Won city.
>> I was born in Busan and Now i\'m living in Change Won city.i don\'t definitely know when i was baby, but as my mother said.
>> I don\'t know when I was a baby, but as my mother said.my family was very poverty. maybe these are saying over thousand i heard from my mother.
>> My family was in poverty.These are what my Mother said for a thousand time.anyway, we\'re living the middle classes of society in Korea.>>Anyway, We\'re living as a middle class of our society in Korea.
i guess, my nation lost alot of things during the war from 1945 to 1950.
>>I guess, my nation lost alot of things during the war from 1945 to 1950.in some ways, it looks worldwide asepct.>> In some way, it looks like a worldwide aspect.
in 1939, the second world war.
>>In 1939, The second World war.it was occured from Germany.
>> Occured in Germany.the war was finished circa 1945.>> The was was finished circa 1945.
i\'m wondering about the war.
>>I\'m wondering about the war.why some power people did wars occur?>>Why some people allow wars to accur?i ask myself.
>>I asked myself.it can simply answer, to conquer, to dominate.
>>It can simply be answered by aiming to conquer or to dominate.i know these are people basically desires.>>I know that these are what people desires.
but i guess carefully, the nation top authority wants history.
>>But if I think carefully, the nation top authority is there history.their name or achievements. >>Their name or achievements.i don\'t be obivous, if i were them, i also tried some achievements.>>I won\'t be obvious, if I were them. I will also try to earn achievements.
at the conclusion of my thought.
>>And the conclusion of my thought.the war don\'t occur in future.
>> The war won\'t occur in the future.i hope.
>>I Hope.
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