Keep health by exercising
학생이 쓴 원문
I think exercise is necessary thing to keep health. The biggest reason is we can\'t live without exercise because when we eat cholesterol and sugar stack up in our blood. If cholesterol and sugar stack up in our blood too much, it can be very serious disease. Other reason is kids don\'t exercise they will be short and fat, unhealthy people, and when they become adults, there\'ll be lots of adult diseases. However exercise can care these problems, so I think exercise is very important thing.
강사 첨삭
I think exercise is necessary thing to keep health.
>> I think exercise is necessary to keep oneself healthy.
The biggest reason is we can\'t live without exercise because when we eat cholesterol and sugar stack up in our blood.
>> If we consume a lot of cholesterol foods and sugar and don\'t exercise, cholesterol and sugar will be stuck in our blood.
If cholesterol and sugar stack up in our blood too much, it can be very serious disease.
>> If they get stuck in our blood, it can cause a very serious disease.
Other reason is kids don\'t exercise they will be short and fat, unhealthy people, and when they become adults, there\'ll be lots of adult diseases.
>> Moreover, if kids don\'t exercise, they will be short and fat unhealthy people, and when they become adults, they\'ll get lots of diseases.
However exercise can care these problems, so I think exercise is very important thing.
>> However, exercise can take care of these problems, so I think exercise is a very important thing.
Great job, Daniel! Exercising is indeed important. I hope you really try to move a lot so that you get the exercise you need.
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