keeping pets for children
학생이 쓴 원문
I think keeping pets for children is good for children. First, they could learn about importance of the life by raising pets. The pets will become children\'s friend, and they will be always their side. Also they will made children\'s mental healthy. second, pets can build children\'s resistance of allergies. I read a reports about allergies. It said children who didn\'t have a pet got allergies easliy than children who raised one.
In conclusion, the pets could help children\'s mental, also physical health.
강사 첨삭
Hi there Se [이름]~!^^ Thank you for doing your homework. It was nice to read your essay~! Keep writing and learning! Have a great day!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think keeping pets for children is good for children.
OR>>> I think keeping pets for children is good for them.
First, they could learn about importance of the life by raising pets.
>>> First, they could learn about [ the ] importance of life by raising pets.
The pets will become children\'s friend, and they will be always their side.
>>> The pets will become [ the ] children\'s friend, and they will be always [ by ] their side.
Also they will made children\'s mental healthy.
>>> [Moreover], they can help with children\'s mental health.
Second, pets can build children\'s resistance of allergies.
>>> Second, pets can build children\'s allergy resistant.
I read a reports about allergies.
>>> CORRECT~! ^^
It said children who didn\'t have a pet got allergies easliy than children who raised one.
>>> It is said that children who don\'t have pets get allergies easily than children who raised one.
In conclusion, the pets could help children\'s mental, also physical health.
>>> In conclusion, pets may benefit kids\' physical as well as mental health.
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