Key to Live a Long and Healthy Life
학생이 쓴 원문
I think exercising regularly is the most important key to live a long and healthy life because it can affect people physically and mentally. When we exercise, we can accelerate blood circulation and gain muscle. Thus, people can make their body much healthier. However, I think mental health is as important as physical health. No matter how strong body people have, they should always think the situation positively and have high self-esteem to maintain a long healthy life. Lack of self-esteem and mental stress can even lead to physical disease. Therefore, happy hormones like endorphin which are released during working out is necessary for people\'s mental. Like this, exercising is beneficial for many parts of our body, so I think people should move regularly to live a long and healthy life.
강사 첨삭
Good morning [이름] Ji^^
Thank you for sharing your answer.
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I think exercising regularly is the most important key to live a long and healthy life because it can affect people physically and mentally.
>>> CORRECT!
When we exercise, we can accelerate blood circulation and gain muscle.
>>> CORRECT!
Thus, people can make their body much healthier.
>>> CORRECT!
However, I think mental health is as important as physical health.
>>> CORRECT!
OR: But I think mental health is as important as physical health.
No matter how strong body people have, they should always think the situation positively and have high self-esteem to maintain a long healthy life.
>>> No matter how strong people are, they should always think positively about the situation and have high self-esteem to maintain a healthy life for a long time.
Lack of self-esteem and mental stress can even lead to physical disease.
>>> CORRECT!
OR: Lack of self-esteem and mental stress can even lead to physical illnesses.
Therefore, happy hormones like endorphin which are released during working out is necessary for people\'s mental.
>>> Therefore, happy hormones such as endorphins released during exercise are essential to people\'s [이름]ds.
Like this, exercising is beneficial for many parts of our body, so I think people should move regularly to live a long and healthy life.
>>> Like this, exercising is beneficial to many parts of our body, so I think people should move regularly to live a long and healthy life.
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