Last trip to Hukuoka

2017-03-06 · 첨삭 강사 Megan

학생이 쓴 원문

We came back from trip for 5 nights and 6 days to Hukuoka this Monday. we have enough time to enjoy Hukuoka, and the most impressed moment was when we were at Onsen, which is called a hot spring in English. "Onsen village" is placed in a country, 3 hours away from Hukuoka downtown. its surrounded by the forest with large and long trees. I felt relaxed my body when I got off the bus and get some fresh air. there are lots of "Ryokan", which is a traditional lodging that fully furnished "Onsen". we espacially booked the one placed little far away from the center of the village, cause we'd like to rest in the deep nature. we had a really great time with our couple, two of us than we're expecting. The water of Onsen is not only healthy for our body, but also relaxed our stiffen body. we had enjoyed several times during we stayed 3 days. we could found some pretty souvenir stores in the center of the town. we might go to "Onsen" if we have a chance to visit the Japan.

강사 첨삭

Dear [이름]!!

Welcome Back!! it\'s great to hear that you had a great trip!!


~Teacher Megan~


HERE ARE MY CORRECTIONS:

We came back from trip for 5 nights and 6 days to Hukuoka this Monday.

>>> We came back from a 5 night and 6 days trip to Hukuoka this Monday.


we have enough time to enjoy Hukuoka, and the most impressed moment was when we were at Onsen, which is called a hot spring in English.

>>> We had enough time to enjoy Hukuoka, and the most impressive moment was when we were at Onsen, which is called hot spring in English.


\"Onsen village\" is placed in a country, 3 hours away from Hukuoka downtown.

>>> \"Onsen village\" is placed in a countryside, 3 hours away from Hukuoka downtown.


its surrounded by the forest with large and long trees.

>>> It\'s surrounded by the forest with large and long trees.


I felt relaxed my body when I got off the bus and get some fresh air.

>>> I felt my body  relaxed when I got off the bus and got some fresh air.


 there are lots of \"Ryokan\", which is a traditional lodging that fully furnished \"Onsen\".

>>>  there are a lot of \"Ryokan\", which is a traditional lodging that has a fully furnished \"Onsen\".


we espacially booked the one placed little far away from the center of the village, cause we\'d like to rest in the deep nature.

>>> we especially booked the one placed which is a little far away from the center of the village, cause we\'d like to rest in the deep nature.


we had a really great time with our couple, two of us than we\'re expecting.

>>> we had a really great time as a couple, greater than we\'re expecting.


 The water of Onsen is not only healthy for our body, but also relaxed our stiffen body.

>>> Correct.


we had enjoyed several times during we stayed 3 days. we could found some pretty souvenir stores in the center of the town.

>>> we enjoyed several times during our 3 day stay. we found some pretty souvenir stores in the center of the town.


we might go to \"Onsen\" if we have a chance to visit the Japan.

>>> Correct.

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