lesson1_part3_Q4
학생이 쓴 원문
Q. Do you think it\'s safer to travel now than in the past?
A. Considering the development, it\'s safer and more convenient to visit another country now than in the past. Technological progress made traveling easier and faster. Also, Advancement of civic consciousness offered a comfortable trip. There are much more enjoyable and exciting places and items all around the world, therefore people have interests in getting to know about other countries.
강사 첨삭
Hey, Su In! Great job! Your ideas were clear and relevant. To reach Band 7.0, focus on improving grammar (e.g., has made), using richer vocabulary (travel abroad, explore destinations), and adding natural connectors (Moreover, Compared to the past). Avoid repetition and use idiomatic phrases (sparks curiosity) for a more fluent, natural response.
~T. Jenna
Considering the development, it\'s safer and more convenient to visit another country now than in the past.
>>Considering the developments, it is safer and more convenient to visit another country now than it was in the past.
Technological progress made traveling easier and faster.
>>Technological progress has made traveling easier and faster.
Also, Advancement of civic consciousness offered a comfortable trip.
>>Also, the advancement of civic consciousness has offered more comfortable trip.
There are much more enjoyable and exciting places and items all around the world, therefore people have interests in getting to know about other countries.
>>There are many more enjoyable and exciting places and things to see around the world; therefore, people have become more interested in learning about other countries.
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With all the advancements we’ve had, it’s definitely safer and far more convenient to travel abroad now compared to the past. Technological progress, especially in transportation and communication, has made journeys not only easier but also incredibly fast. Moreover, people today are more aware of social etiquette and public safety, which makes traveling smoother and more comfortable. Nowadays, there are countless fascinating destinations and attractions worldwide, which naturally sparks people’s curiosity to explore and experience different cultures.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.