letter

Dear Sir, I am a loyalty customer of your shop. I am writing the letter about what I have seen last night in your shop. I vistied your shop to buy necessities at 9 pm yesterday. I was embarrssed when I entered into your shop. A drunken man distracted very rudely. I and other customers could not purchase anything. I have to go out there to avoid his rude activities. Your assistant has also been under trouble situation every day because of him. I suggest that you should employ another assistant. It is difficult to serve for one manager late night in your shop. I am looking for your positive reply. Yours sincerely, [이름]

It's nice reading letters like this. I can see that you really have a great interest of learning and studying and I believe that this is the best aspect a person must have aside from being patient to adopt the english skill that they want. I just advice you to be persevere and determined in everything you do because in time, you will reap from those things. * Here are just some of the corrections you must consider from your letter: 1. I am a loyalty customer of your shop >>> I am a loyal customer of your shop.   2. I am writing the letter about what I have seen last night in your shop. >>> I wrote this letter to inform you of what happened last night.   3. I vistied your shop to buy necessities at 9 pm yesterday. >>>  I visited your shop to buy my needs at 9pm. / buy my necessities at 9pm.   4. I and other customers could not purchase anything. >>> Me and the other customers couldn't purchase anything anymore because that man was really a great disturbance.   5. i have to go out there to avoid his rude activities. >>> I had to get out from your shop just to avoid the rough thing he was doing.   6.  Your assistant has also been under trouble situation every day because of him. >>> Your assistant was also in trouble because of the situation in your shop last night.   7.  It is difficult to serve for one manager late night in your shop. >>> it is difficult managing a shop alone at night.   8.  I am looking for your positive reply. >>> I am looking forward to your response about this matter.