Libya
학생이 쓴 원문
A war broke out in Libya which is in the middle-east Asia.
Libya militia and the multination force fight against Qadhafi who is a notorious dictator in Libya.
Many people in Libya have tried to murder him in the past.
The multination force consists of U.S., U.K., France and the other militaries.
I agree for the multination force to fight against Qadhafi.
However, my friends who are major in Politics don't like that.
They said that it can be an infringement on Libya's sovereignty.
I have no idea about it but I hope that the war will be ended and Qadhafi will resign his power soon.
I wish that there will be a peaceful life in the middle-east Asia.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]!
The war in Libya is causing crisis with oil around the world. It is difficult to have war with countries because we are all affected by it. I hope that they will resolve this soon. Do you think that Qadhafi will resign?
T.Faye
Here are some corrections:
A war broke out in Libya which is in the middle-east Asia.
>>A war broke out in Libya. Libya is in Middle east Asia.Libya militia and the multination force fight against Qadhafi who is a notorious dictator in Libya.
>>The military and multinational force in Libya is fighting against Qadhafi, who is a notorious dictator in Libya.Many people in Libya have tried to murder him in the past.
>>Correct!The multination force consists of U.S., U.K., France and the other militaries.
>>The multinational force consists of U.S., U.K., France and the other militaries.However, my friends who are major in Politics don't like that.
>>Correct!They said that it can be an infringement on Libya's sovereignty.
>>Correct!I have no idea about it but I hope that the war will be ended and Qadhafi will resign his power soon.
>>Correct!
>>I have no idea about it but I hope that the war will end soon and Qadhafi will resign/ step down from his position soon.I wish that there will be a peaceful life in the middle-east Asia.
>>Correct!
>>I hope that there will be peace in the Middle east soon.
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