Lisa's Diary

2011-03-10 · 첨삭 강사 Christine

학생이 쓴 원문

Today is very awful. Because one person of gangsters terribly called me. I was fearful. It is first. But I foung four soldiers. So I went next to four soldiers. I hear gangster's voice. "Hey! Come here!" I ran away. Now I am safe. Another awful reason is no stopping bleed. Today I pull out two teeth. Now I am biting gauze. So I still didn't eat dinner. I want to eat foods. It was very awful.

강사 첨삭

~ (>_<) ~ Hi pretty Lisa!! I missed you!! Oh, I am sad to hear what happened to you today, I hope feel okay now and that you feel safe. It’s good you met some soldiers and I am very thankful that nothing bad happened to you. I will always pray for your safety.  ~ Chris ~ Today is very awful. >> Today was an awful day. >> Today, an awful thing happened. Because one person of gangsters terribly called me.>> I encountered a group of gangsters and one of them was calling my attention. OR >> There was a member of a gang who was shouting at me. I was fearful.>> It was a very scary moment for me. It is first.>> It was the first time it happened. But I foung four soldiers.>> Luckily, I spotted four soldiers. OR >> I was fortunate because there were four soldiers nearby. So I went next to four soldiers.>>  So I went near them. OR >> So I tried to move closer to where the soldiers were. I hear gangster's voice. "Hey! Come here!">> I heard one of the gangsters saying “Hey! Come here!” I ran away.>> Good sentence. Now I am safe.>> Good sentence.Another awful reason is no stopping bleed. >> Another reason why I felt awful is because my gums still keep bleeding. >> I feel awful due to another reason, my  gums are still bleeding.Today I pull out two teeth. >> Today, I had two of my teeth pulled out. Now I am biting gauze. >> Now, I am biting a gauze.So I still didn't eat dinner. >> So I still haven’t eaten dinner yet.I want to eat foods. >> I want to eat food. OR >> I want to eat many food.It was very awful. >> Good sentence.    ~ I hope you’re not that in pain too. See you later in class. ^^, Thanks for doing your homework again. ~

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