Live in Deserts
학생이 쓴 원문
Theme: [ESSAY] Why do you think some people live in the desert?
I think some people live in the desert because they like adventures.
They want to do experiment(?)like how long does it take that he(or she)can survive without water.
They might want to drink oasis water.
They might want to meet desert animals.
I think some people live in the desert because they like adventures!
강사 첨삭
Here\'s your edited composition, Clair!
Cheers,
Jean~~
Theme: [ESSAY] Why do you think some people live in the desert?
I think some people live in the desert because they like adventures.
>> correct
They want to do experiment(?)like how long does it take that he(or she)can survive without water.
>> They want to do experiments, such as how long can he/she survive without water.
They might want to drink oasis water.
>> or: Some might want to try drinking water from desert oases.
>> Note: Oases is the plural form of oasis.^^
They might want to meet desert animals.
>> or: And others might want to see desert animals.
I think some people live in the desert because they like adventures!
>> correct
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