mandatory
학생이 쓴 원문
There are many types of desires in human life.
Among them, one of sexual desire the stongest desires is sexual desire.
So we should learn clearly and openly about sex how to control it, how to enjoy it.
We are teaching sex education as formal curriculum in Korea.
강사 첨삭
Ms. [이름],
Thank you for spending your precious time writing your thoughts. As I do, I always agree with your point and I think everything must be done in order and when the time is right.
have a great weekend!
Aki~
There are many types of desires in human life.
>>> CORRECT!
Among them, one of sexual desire the strongest desires is sexual desire.
>>> CORRECT!
So we should learn clearly and openly about sex how to control it, how to enjoy it.
>>>So we should learn clearly and openly about sex how to control it, and how to enjoy it.
We are teaching sex education as formal curriculum in Korea.
>>> We are teaching sex education as a formal curriculum in Korea.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.