Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and

2022-01-25 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extend do you agree or disagree? I agree that the junk food effects negatively our environment. The junk food has been using a lot of plastic products and excessive wrapping paper / wrap for only packing. It is the cause environment pollution. Also, fast food is for eating fast like its name. eating habits are also changed us eat fast. These things make us gain fat and indigestion. Moreover, according to eating time with family is decreased, family\'s relationship become low.

강사 첨삭

Hi there [이름]!^^How are you today? I miss you! Thanks for writing your essay!  Remind yourself the REASON why you’re writing. It’s about realizing the value you get from writing. So when you finally understand the “why” behind your writing, writing won’t feel like an obstacle.

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

I agree that the junk food effects negatively our environment. 

>>>I agree that junk food affects our environment negatively. 

The junk food has been using a lot of plastic products and excessive wrapping paper / wrap for only packing.

>>> Junk food has been including a lot of plastic products and excessive wrapping paper / wrap for packing.

 It is the cause environment pollution. 

>>>  It is the cause of environment pollution. 

Also, fast food is for eating fast like its name. 

>>> Also, fast food is quick meal like its name. 

eating habits are also changed us eat fast. 

>>> Eating habits have also changed us to eat fast. 

These things make us gain fat and indigestion.

>>> These things make us gain fat and caused indigestion.

 Moreover, according to eating time with family is decreased, family\'s relationship become low.

>>>  Moreover, eating time with the family has decreased. Family relationship has become so low.



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