Many jobs require ongoing training and research to stay competitive in a world with rapidly evolving

2021-12-14 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

I strongly believe that continues education improve our skill and it provides a chance to update our knowledge. It is true that many companies have asked people to do research and get training to be competitive. Although, I am pros of self-development, there are too many adverse effect. Firstly, people have just tried to acquire certification through online or offline classes. They don\'t usually put their attention while they are having a class because their final goal is to get a result. Secondly, people can be suffering from the stress to be the best in too competitive environment. Everything has changed quickly in modern society therefore if people don\'t develop themselves, they will be one of the looser that might be resulted on serious health problem. Some people feel like commit a suicide due to competition. Lastly, people might study unnecessary subjects which are not related with their major or job. In conclusion, It;s worth to improve people\'s skill if company don\'t pus

강사 첨삭

Hi there! It\'s quite a tiring day today! I hope you\'re having a good one. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly believe that continues education improve our skills and it provides a chance to update our knowledge.
>>> I strongly believe that continues education improve our skills and it provides a chance to upgrade our knowledge.
 It is true that many companies have asked people to do research and get training to be competitive. 
>>> CORRECT
Although, I am pros of self-development, there are too many adverse effect. 
>>> Although, I am positive of self-development, there are too many adverse effects. 
Firstly, people have just tried to acquire certification through online or offline classes. 
>>> CORRECT
They don\'t usually put their attention while they are having a class because their final goal is to get a result. 
>>> They don\'t usually pay attention while they are having a class because their final goal is to get a result. 
Secondly, people can be suffering from the stress to be the best in too competitive environment.
>>> Secondly, people can be suffering from stress to be the best in a too competitive environment.
 Everything has changed quickly in modern society therefore if people don\'t develop themselves, they will be one of the looser that might be resulted on serious health problem. 
>>>  Everything has changed quickly in the modern society therefore if people don\'t develop themselves, they will be one of the looser that might be resulted in a serious health problem. 
Some people feel like commit a suicide due to competition. 
>>> Some people feel like committing a suicide due to the competition. 
Lastly, people might study unnecessary subjects which are not related with their major or job. 
>>> CORRECT
In conclusion, it\'s worth to improve people\'s skill if the company doesn\'t...
>>> CORRECT

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