Many parents get in trouble...

Hi there [이름] ^^

Thanks for sending your essay today.

I was surprised. Hihihihi! You are getting used with the language. ^^

Keep it up! Just be mindful of your word order and choice of words.

Talk to you soon. ^^

Teacher Nina

Many parents get in trouble when they are raising their children.

>> Correct

>> OR: A lot of parents get in trouble in raising their kids.

It doesn\'t seem like to be a problem when their children are young.

>> Correct

However, Growing up, their children have their own life style and identity.

>> However, when their children are growing up, they have their own lifestyle and identity.

In this process, they may become a selfish person.

>> Correct

it is common phenomenon in normal family.

>> It is a common phenomenon in a normal family.

It is not the problem which came from parents.

>> It is not the problem which came from the parents.

but parents who can\'t control their fury raise their children, they give them a shot or start to beat them.

>> But parents who can\'t control their fury in raising their children, they start giving them a shot or beat them.

It can be a problem even a crime.

>> It can be a problem or even a crime.

It is natural that parents spank them or scold them when children go wrong way.

>> It is natural that parents spank or scold them when their children go the wrong way.

but in these days, these kind of education is not good for children\'s mental health.

>> But these days, this kind of treatment is not good for the children\'s mental health.

It might make another aggressive parents who can\'t control one\'s temper.

>> It might lead to another aggressive parents who can\'t control their temper.