Many people spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative developm

2021-01-28 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

People tend to seek comfort life these days. There have been active movement to seek \"YOLO life\", so people are willing to spend all their money when they are young. I guess that this is because of economic growth. Most people don\'t have any problem to eat and they have money to buy what they want to. However, I am worried about this campaign because we should prepare for the future. Many experts say that population will decrease and the rate of old people are more than young people. It will be burden for young people and someone who will be born in the future. I agree partially with YOLO life because I think that it would be more fun and enjoyable to travel when we are young. On the contrary, there have been another movement in US that young people make money as much as they can before 30s. And then they are planning to enjoy their life without working because they have already had enough money that might use it until they die. I think this is great idea because they can do anythin

강사 첨삭

A lovely day to you MR. [이름]~! ^^ One of the most important things to do to become a better writer is simply to read. You’d be hard-pressed to find a great writer who isn’t also a voracious reader. Reading other writers’ work can help you discover new writing methods and expose you to different source material that will improve your writing and inspire you.
Enjoy the experience! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
People tend to seek comfort life these days.
>>> CORRECT
There have been active movement to seek \"YOLO life\", so people are willing to spend all their money when they are young.
>>> There have been active movements to seek \"YOLO life\", so people are willing to spend all their money while they are young.
I guess that this is because of economic growth. 
>>> CORRECT
Most people don\'t have any problem to eat and they have money to buy what they want to.
>>> Most people don\'t have any problems eating and they have enough money to buy what they want.
 However, I am worried about this campaign because we should prepare for the future. 
>>> CORRECT
Many experts say that population will decrease and the rate of old people are more than young people. 
>>> Many experts say that population will decrease and the rate of old people is higher than young people. 
It will be burden for young people and someone who will be born in the future.
>>> It will be a burden for young people and for those who will be born in the future.
 I agree partially with YOLO life because I think that it would be more fun and enjoyable to travel when we are young. 
>>>  I partially agree with YOLO life because I think that it would be more fun and enjoyable to travel when we are young. 
On the contrary, there have been another movement in the US that young people make money as much as they can before 30s.
>>> CORRECT
 And then they are planning to enjoy their life without working because they have already had enough money that might use it until they die. 
>>>  And then they are planning to enjoy their life without working because they have already had enough money which they may use until they die. 
I think this is great idea because they can do anything...
>>> I think this is a great idea because they can do anything...

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