Many people spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative developm

2021-01-28 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

These days, many people spend money and don’t save it. But even 10 years ago, most people think that saving a money is more important than spending it. Why did we change so much? The reason is that our values changed compared to past. In past, we think that future’s happiness is more important than present happiness. We think that if we save money reducing consumption, we can live in plenty in the future. But present values are different from the past. We think present happiness is more important because we don’t know how we become in the future. Therefore, we spare no expense to enjoy present life. I think this change of values is positive thing because we only live once and must enjoy every moment. But it is allowed to an extent that I can pay for some things for myself. Freedom is given to people who can be responsible for oneself. Thank you for reading my essay.

강사 첨삭

A lovely day to you [이름]~! ^^ One of the most important things to do to become a better writer is simply to read. You’d be hard-pressed to find a great writer who isn’t also a voracious reader. Reading other writers’ work can help you discover new writing methods and expose you to different source material that will improve your writing and inspire you.
Enjoy the experience! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
These days, many people spend money and don’t save it.
>>> CORRECT
But even 10 years ago, most people think that saving a money is more important than spending it.
>>> CORRECT
Why did we change so much?
>>> CORRECT
The reason is that our values changed compared to the past.
>>> CORRECT
In past, we think that future’s happiness is more important than present happiness.
>>> In the past, we think that the future’s happiness is more important than the present happiness.
We think that if we save money reducing consumption, we can live in plenty in the future.
>>> We think that if we save money, reducing our consumption, we can live plenty in the future.
But present values are different from the past.
>>> But the present values are different from the past.
We think present happiness is more important because we don’t know how we become in the future.
>>> We think that the present happiness is more important because we don’t know how we become in the future.
Therefore, we spare no expense to enjoy present the life.
>>> CORRECT
I think this change of values is positive thing because we only live once and must enjoy every moment.
>>> I think this change of values is a positive thing because we only live once and must enjoy every moment.
But it is allowed to an extent that I can pay for some things for myself.
>>> CORRECT
Freedom is given to people who can be responsible for oneself.
>>> CORRECT
Thank you for reading my essay.
>>> CORRECT

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