Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe
학생이 쓴 원문
Every person has their standard of happiness but the number one factor of it is more likely money unfortunately. There are a lot of things that effect to people\'s feeling such as welfare system, country\'s value and so on. I have seen the poll results about rank of happiness around the world. The number one country which their people feel the happiest is not Europe and US. This represent that money and economic status of the country is not the key factor of happiness. However, we need to think about the start point in people\'s live.
Everyone was born in the different environment that might be wealthy family or not. According to the wealth, the chances are not same to citizens. This means that rich people will be rich in the future and poor people can\'t even enjoy their basic elements for lives such as food, house and so on. If we consider the most valuable value is the people\'s happiness, the government should provide basic elements for all citizens regardless of working.
강사 첨삭
Hi there Mr. [이름]~! ^^ I appreciate you for making your essays even in the midst of your busy schedule ~! ^^ Keep studying!
>>> TEACHER
Every person has their standard of happiness but the number one factor of it is more likely money unfortunately.
>>> CORRECT
There are a lot of things that effect to people\'s feeling such as welfare system, country\'s value and so on.
>>> There are a lot of things that effect the people\'s feeling such as welfare system, country\'s value and so on.
I have seen the poll results about rank of happiness around the world.
>>> I have seen the poll results about the rank of happiest countries around the world.
The number one country which their people feel the happiest is not Europe and US.
>>> The happiest countries are not the US. and Europe.
This represent that money and economic status of the country is not the key factor of happiness.
>>> CORRECT
However, we need to think about the main thing in people\'s live.
>>> CORRECT
Everyone was born in the different environment that might be wealthy family or not.
>>> Everyone was born in different environment that might be wealthy family or not.
According to the wealth, the chances are not same to citizens.
>>> According to wealth, the chances are not the same to citizens.
This means that rich people will be rich in the future and poor people can\'t even enjoy their basic elements for lives such as food, house and so on.
>>> CORRECT
If we consider the most valuable is the people\'s happiness, the government should provide the basic elements for all citizens regardless of work.
>>> CORRECT
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