Michael Jackson

When it comes to Michael Jackson, he had lots of plastic surgery to become a white man. I heard that he didn't like a black man. Even though he is a black man, he try to change his skin color. In my case, I feel pity for thinking of Michael. But I never criticize him because the society of USA make him to have a plastic surgery. The USA society regards that the white people is superior a nation, the others are not. So we can't see a scene which a East actor kiss a Western actress in the movie. Anyway, Michael Jackson has a freedom to have a plastic surgery for himself. So I agree with his actions. Today is very cold day. It was snowing in the morning. The temperature is below 10 degree. It make coldness to freeze everything.

Hello [이름]!

This is a great composition. Micheal Jackson is an icon in the society and it’s nice that you wrote about him. Anyway, I have corrected some sentences for you. A reminder, I would like to say that it is better to regard people as afro-american than black. The term black is quite racist.

Have a great day!

xoxo,

~Ella

MY CORRECTIONS^^:

Micheal Jackson

>>correct!

When it comes to Michael Jackson, he had lots of plastic surgery to become a white man.

>>When it comes to Michael Jackson, we know the he had lots of plastic surgery to become a white man.
I heard that he didn't like a black man.

>>I heard that he didn’t like to be an african american.

Even though he is a black man, he try to change his skin color.

>>Even though his is an african american, he tried to change his skin color.
In my case, I feel pity for thinking of Michael.

>>In my case, I pity Micheal’s decision.
But I never criticize him because the society of USA make him to have a plastic surgery.

>>But I never criticized him because USA’s  society made him decide to have plastic surgery.
The USA society regards that the white people is superior a nation, the others are not.

>>USA’s society regards white people more superior than dark-skinned people.
So we can't see a scene which a East actor kiss a Western actress in the movie.

>>So, we can’t see a movie scene in which an eastern actor would kiss a western actress.
Anyway, Michael Jackson has a freedom to have a plastic surgery for himself.

>>Anyway, Micheal Jackson has  the freedom to have plastic surgery.

So I agree with his actions.
>>So, I agree with his actions.
Today is very cold day.

>>Today is a very cold day.

>>It is very cold today.

It was snowing in the morning.

>>Correct

The temperature is below 10 degree.

>>The temperature is below 10 degrees.

 It make coldness to freeze everything.

>>The cold weather made everything freeze.