MOM-AND-POP SHOPS...

2017-03-29 · 첨삭 강사 Marie

학생이 쓴 원문

Writing task! 1 out of 3 mom-and-pop shops in Korea are closing in less than three years. How do you feel about this? As the economy of a country develops, the rate of mom-and-pop shops decreases because people in developed economy system want cheap, trustworthy and high-quality products produced by big companies. The average rate of mom-and-pop shops in advanced countries is about 10% but the rate in Korea is 25%. So the struggles among them are cutthroat competitions. They pour all they have but the really depressing thing is the scheduled sad ending even though they try hard. T.T

강사 첨삭

Hi there, [이름]!

Your writing skill is getting better.

Your thoughts are more organized and cohesive now.

Just try to avoid run-on sentences.

Remember, it\'s not about how long your sentence is, it\'s about the thought and the construction.

Thanks for doing your homework.

Have a vibrant day ahead!

Ciao!

~Teacher Marie~ ^^

As the economy of a country develops, the rate of mom-and-pop shops decreases because people in developed economy system want cheap, trustworthy and high-quality products produced by big companies.

>> CORRECT!
The average rate of mom-and-pop shops in advanced countries is about 10% but the rate in Korea is 25%.

>> CORRECT!

So the struggles among them are cutthroat competitions.

>> They struggle due to the cutthroat competition.

They pour all they have but the really depressing thing is the scheduled sad ending even though they try hard. T.T

>> They pour all they have into it, but the really depressing things is that they are doomed to have a sad ending no matter how hard they try.

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