Movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on young peoples' behavior?

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Teacher Sophia

Here are the corrections:

Some people say that young children\'s watching television help them enhance their creative ability so it is good for young people.

>> Some people say children enhance their creativity from watching the television.

However, I think the excessive watching of a TV may harm young people.

>> However, I think the excessive watching of television is harmful to children.
First, the academic achievement of children watching TV so much could be bad.

>> First, children can have a poor performance in terms of their academics.

This is because, they don\'t have enough time to study as they spend so much time on it.

>> This is because they don\'t have enough time to study because they have spent their time watching shows on TV.

Let me bring up my personal story as an example. 

>> CORRECT

>> OR: I want to share my personal experience.

When I was young, I liked watching TV, so I watched TV all day if my parents was not in home.

>> When I was young, I liked watching TV if my parents weren\'t around.

And it is more severe that I couldn\'t stop watching TV by myself once I turned on TV.

>> It\'s terrible because I can\'t stop watching once the TV was on.

As a result, my grade in school is not good.

>> As a result, my grades were not good.
Second, the chances are that children imitate the behavior in the TV that is pugnacious or indecent.

>> Second, children can adapt the pugnacious or indecent things that they see on TV.

To be specific, children\'s discerning ability is far behind the adult, so they could mimic bad behavior recklessly.

>>  CORRECT
In conclusion, parents have to control their children\' watching habit.

>>   CORRECT