Music
학생이 쓴 원문
Music is very important to people. when people get some feeling, they listen music release of emotion. so it is role in society. not just simply form of entertainment.
강사 첨삭
Hi there [이름]~! ^^ Thanks for your effort doing your essay. Keep improving! Keep expressing yourself! Take care!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Music is very important to people.
>>> CORRECT
when people get some feeling, they listen music release of emotion.
>>> When people get emotional, they listen to music to relieve their feelings.
so it is role in society. not just simply form of entertainment.
>>> So, music has its role in the society, not just for entertainment.
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