My application for WFK(2ND)
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]!
I\'m really looking forward to meeting you tomorrow! Thank you for sending these composition to give me an idea about your background. I would like to know more when we start having classes. ^^
~~Teacher Kate
1. Worked directly with customers to oversee account management and troubleshoot any problems that occurred.
>>I worked directly with customers to oversee account management and troubleshoot any problems that occurred.
2. Opened new various types of accounts for customers, including checking, savings, business, and CD accounts.
>>CORRECT!
3. Partnered with customers individually to help them get the most out of their accounts and understand the features offered.
>>I partnered with customers individually to help them get the most out of their accounts and understand the features offered.
4. In summary, it is as follows. I worked for KEB Hana Bank for 30 years and retired at the end of July this year.
>>CORRECT!
5. After working as a branch manager for 14 years and department manager at the headquarter, I worked as a representative leader of nine branches for two years before retirement.
>>CORRECT!
6. I managed big branch with about $ 1 billion gross assets which consisted of half with debt, when I was a General Manager.
>>I managed big branch with about $ 1 billion gross assets half of which consisted of debt, when I was a General Manager.
7. I tried to control adjustment of deposit accounts maturity and loan condition(with IRS, CRS) for my clients.
>>CORRECT!
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.