My application for WFK
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]!
I\'m really looking forward to meeting you tomorrow! Thank you for sending these composition to give me an idea about your background. I would like to know more when we start having classes. ^^
~~Teacher Kate
1. Professional bank branch manager with over 30 years of experience, I was proficient in all aspects of bank management and operation, including account management, customer service, staff coordination, and product sales.
>>I was a professional branch manager with over 30 years of experience, I was proficient in all aspects of bank management and operation, including account management, customer service, staff coordination, and product sales.
2. I was recently retired from my duties on 31st July 2019 as General Manager from KEB Hana Bank.
>>I recently retired from my duties on 31st July 2019 as General Manager from KEB Hana Bank.
3. During my tenure, I was leading the team of 20+ personnel by implementing training, engaging in proactive problem solving, and ensuring company compliance.
>>During my tenure, I was led the team of 20+ personnel by implementing training, engaging in proactive problem solving, and ensuring company compliance.
4. Supervise staff in operations such as account management, customer service, financial operations, and other bank functions.
>>I supervise staff in operations such as account management, customer service, financial operations, and other bank functions.
5. I Monitor all balances and deposits to ensure that all money in the bank is accounted for and the proper procedures are followed at all times.
>>CORRECT!
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