My best day.
학생이 쓴 원문
Wow!Escape the heat!Leaving the city\'s heat and going to Yongpyeong resort for a vacation was the best day of my life.Yongpyeong resort is famous for its ski in winter.However,in summer, it\'s famous for its leisure sports.I rode some amusment park rides and rode a cable car going up to the peak of the Balwangsan mountain,which is 1458m above sea level.I can almost see the whole world.I was so happy and I thought I was in the highest part of the world.Next, I went to the water park and it was so cool.Also in evening,me and my parents had a little party with chicken and coke.It was a busy but a wonderful time.
강사 첨삭
Hi, [이름]!
Wow! That\'s nice! Thank you for sharing about it. Have a great day!
~T. Roanne ^_^
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CORRECTIONS AND SUGGESTIONS BELOW:
Wow!Escape the heat!
>> Wow! Escape the heat!
Leaving the city\'s heat and going to Yongpyeong resort for a vacation was the best day of my life.
>> Correct!
Yongpyeong resort is famous for its ski in winter.
>> Correct!
However,in summer, it\'s famous for its leisure sports.
>> However, in summer, it\'s famous for its leisurely sports.
I rode some amusment park rides and rode a cable car going up to the peak of the Balwangsan mountain,which is 1458m above sea level.
>> I rode some amusement park rides and rode a cable car going up to the peak of the Balwangsan mountain, which is 1458m above sea level.
I can almost see the whole world.
>> Correct!
I was so happy and I thought I was in the highest part of the world.
>> Correct!
Next, I went to the water park and it was so cool.
>> Correct!
Also in evening,me and my parents had a little party with chicken and coke.
>> Also in the evening, me and my parents had a little party with a chicken and coke.
It was a busy but a wonderful time.
>>It was a busy, but a wonderful time.
NOTE: PLEASE DON\'T FORGET THE SPACING ^^
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