My best(worst?) travel

2016-07-12 · 첨삭 강사 Lynn

학생이 쓴 원문

A Chinese proverb says that "If you read ten thousand books, you communicate with God, If you travel around 10,000 kilometer, you are not confuse more." I travelled a lot for work. My impressive trip was going up Mt. Kilimanjaro. Height of the mountain is 5,895m. I were walking 20 kilometers per a day for five days. I gradually made attitude high every day. I was a dizzy near 4,000 meters. At first, I knew my strenth was weak. But it is High Attitude illness. The higher I walk, the thinner the air is. The weather is getting colder. I kept quite, I seemed to throw up. Even though I couldn't walk at 5,000 meters, I wake up at dawn, walked to the top. It is surrouding only a pitch darkness and permanent snow. I were very cold and so sleepy. I slept sitting on rocks between permanent snow. The Black man guide woke up me. I felt terribly sleepy. But I got up, and walked and walked. Finally I standed on the top of Mt. Kilimanzaro. I still couldn't forget the moment and excitement.

강사 첨삭

Hello sir,

Wow! you climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro? I wish I could do that too but I doubt it. I don\'t think I could walk that high. Thank you for sharing me your experience of your climb of one of the famous mountains of the world. Have a great day ahead and I\'ll talk to you tomorrow! See you!

Take care!

~T. Lynn

 

A Chinese proverb says that \"If you read ten thousand books, you communicate with God, If you travel around 10,000 kilometer, you are not confuse more.\"

>>A Chinese proverb says that \"If you read ten thousand books, you communicate with God, If you travel around 10,000 kilometers, you are not confuse anymore.\"

I traveled a lot for work.

>>correct!

My impressive trip was going up Mt. Kilimanjaro.

>>correct!

Height of the mountain is 5,895m.

>>The height of the mountain is 5,895m.

I were walking 20 kilometers per a day for five days.

>>I walked for 20 kilometers per day in five days.

I gradually made attitude high every day.

>>The altitude gradually grows higher everyday.

I was a dizzy near 4,000 meters.

>>I was dizzy near 4,000 meters high.

At first, I knew my strenth was weak.

>>At first, I knew I was growing weak.

But it is High Attitude illness.

>>But it was the High Altitude illness.

The higher I walk, the thinner the air is.

>>The higher I walked, the thinner the air.

The weather is getting colder.

>>correct!

I kept quite, I seemed to throw up.

>>I kept quiet because I felt like throwing up.

Even though I couldn\'t walk at 5,000 meters, I wake up at dawn, walked to the top.

>>Even though I couldn\'t walk at 5,000 meters, I woke up at dawn, and walked to the top.

It is surrouding only a pitch darkness and permanent snow.

>>Its surrounding is pitch darkness and permanent snow.

I were very cold and so sleepy.

>>I was very cold and so sleepy.

I slept sitting on rocks between permanent snow.

>>I slept sitting on the rocks between the permanent snow.

The Black man guide woke up me.

>>correct!

I felt terribly sleepy.

>>correct!

But I got up, and walked and walked.

>>correct!

Finally I standed on the top of Mt. Kilimanzaro.

>>Finally, I stood on the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro.

I still couldn\'t forget the moment and excitement.

>>I still couldn\'t forget the moment and excitement I felt at that time.

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