My dream life abroad

2023-06-20 · 첨삭 강사 Nikki

학생이 쓴 원문

After I decided to go university in Australia, I wanted to do lots of things I haven\\\'t experienced in Korea. Since I entered high school in 2021, my whole day was just filled with studying. South Korea requires hard working for students and I was one of them. I gave up lots of things I wanted to do and I even studied in vacation going academy and doing private lesson. To relieve this stress, I watched Netflix a lot to get out of this stress but it was not enough. So, there\\\'s enormous things I want to do next year. I want to meet lots of new people and make friends that has different cultures and languages. It will give me a great sight to see the world. Also, I want to learn surfing and swimming which I really wanted to do. By studying abroad, I also want to gain my english like a native speaker. It can be a good resource for me to live rest of my life. Next year, I want to use my time just for me to learn what I want and do what I want.

강사 첨삭


Hi, Emily! A wonderful day to you :)
Thank you so much for your time and for answering your homework. I really appreciate it.
See you in class :)


-T.Nikki :)


After I decided to go university in Australia. I wanted to do lots of things I haven\'t experienced in Korea.
>>  After I decided to go to a university in Australia, I wanted to do lots of things that I haven\'t experienced in Korea.
Since I entered high school in 2021, my whole day was just filled with studying. 
>> CORRECT!
South Korea requires hard working for students and I was one of them.
>> The South Korea Education system requires hard work for students and I was one of them. 
I gave up lots of things I wanted to do and I even studied in vacation going academy and doing private lesson.
>> I gave up lots of things that I wanted to do and I even studied during vacation and kept going to the academy and doing private lessons. 
To relieve this stress, I watched Netflix a lot to get out of this stress but it was not enough. 
>> To relieve this stress, I watched Netflix a lot but it was not enough. 
So, there\'s enormous things I want to do next year.
>> So, there are enormous things I want to do next year.
I want to meet lots of new people and make friends that has different cultures and languages.
>> I want to meet lots of new people and make friends that have different cultures and languages.
 It will give me a great sight to see the world. Also, I want to learn surfing and swimming which I really wanted to do. 
>> CORRECT! 
By studying abroad, I also want to gain my english like a native speaker.
>> By studying abroad, I also want to master English like a native speaker. 
It can be a good resource for me to live rest of my life
>> It can be a good resource for me to live the rest of my life. 
Next year, I want to use my time just for me to learn what I want and do what I want.
>>CORRECT!


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