My Earthquake Experience and What I Want to Say Through it
학생이 쓴 원문
When I was a high school student, I experienced an earthquake. At that time I was studying with my friends at school. Suddenly we felt that the whole building trembled for a few minutes. I was so surprised because that was the first time I experienced an earthquake. Korea is not a country that is included in an earthquake-prone area so we koreans have little idea about how dangerous an earthquake is. I was very scared about the circumstance so I wanted to get out of the school but my teacher said \"It is not a big deal so we don\'t need to get out\". And he also said \"Just study!\". But I could not agree with his words so I told him like the followings. “We do not know what happen to our life and an earthquake is one of the hazard disasters so if we don’t go out now, we could die today!” Fortunately the earthquake at that time was not a big deal but I think we have to keep in mind that we can die at any time. So we should always be on the lookout of the insensitivity about safety.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]!
Last weekends, my country suffered form earthquake due to volcanic eruption. The earth quaked as ash falls in every cities, covering people and animals with thick hazardous dusts.
People evacuated here and there and animals were left behind. Lots of them died as others tried to wrestle for survival. My city got affected with the ash fall that day. The air smelled dusty, so everyone wore a mask.
In fact, people who live around the volcano had run out of masks. For some, they sold their masks for 1, 200 won per piece!
Well, during earthquakes, know the necessary precautions and follow the guidelines for survival.
Here are the corrections.
When I was a high school student, I experienced an earthquake.
>> Correct!
At that time I was studying with my friends at school.
>> At that time, I was studying with my friends at school.
Suddenly we felt that the whole building trembled for a few minutes.
>> Suddenly, we felt that the whole building trembled for a few minutes.
I was so surprised because that was the first time I experienced an earthquake.
>> Correct!
Korea is not a country that is included in an earthquake-prone area so we koreans have little idea about how dangerous an earthquake is.
>> Korea is not a country that is included in an earthquake-prone area, so, we, Koreans have little idea about how dangerous an earthquake is.
I was very scared about the circumstance so I wanted to get out of the school but my teacher said \"It is not a big deal so we don\'t need to get out\".
>> I was very scared about the circumstance, so I wanted to get out of the school but my teacher said, \"It is not a big deal, so we don\'t need to get out.\"
And he also said \"Just study!\". But I could not agree with his words so I told him like the followings.
>> And he also said, \"Just study!\". But I could not agree with his words, so I told him the following:
“We do not know what happen to our life and an earthquake is one of the hazard disasters so if we don’t go out now, we could die today!”
>> “We do not know what will happen to our life and an earthquake is one of the hazardous disasters, so if we don’t go out now, we could die today!”
Fortunately the earthquake at that time was not a big deal but I think we have to keep in mind that we can die at any time.
>> Fortunately, the earthquake at that time was not a big deal, but I think we have to keep in mind that we can die at any time.
So we should always be on the lookout of the insensitivity about safety.
>> So, we should always be on the look out and be more sensitive about our safety.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.