My electronic device

2022-02-22 · 첨삭 강사 Sharon

학생이 쓴 원문

I have many kinds of gadgets, such as desktop computers, a cell phone, a iPad, laptops, a Galaxy Watch 4 and others. Two desktop computers are used for business purposes, and laptops are used to study and work at home and work. The iPad can be used outside, and when I attend meetings I carry it. I recently bought the Galaxy Watch 4 for convenience. I put it on wrist and use for the telephone function. It is very convenient.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름] Ha!
The quality of this composition is definitely an improvement.
I\'m happy to see you develop this way.
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I have many kinds of gadgets, such as desktop computers, a cell phone, a iPad, laptops, a Galaxy Watch 4 and others.
>> I have many kinds of gadgets, such as desktop computers, a cell phone, an iPad, laptops, a Galaxy Watch 4 and others.
Two desktop computers are used for business purposes, and laptops are used to study and work at home and work.
>> Two desktop computers are used for business purposes, and laptops are used for studying, work from home home and work in the office.
The iPad can be used outside, and when I attend meetings I carry it.
>> The iPad can be used outside, and when I attend meetings, I carry it.
I recently bought the Galaxy Watch 4 for convenience.
>> Correct
I put it on wrist and use for the telephone function.
>> I put it on my wrist and use it for its telephone function.
It is very convenient.
>> Correct

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