my essay~:)

2013-04-05 · 첨삭 강사 Verna

학생이 쓴 원문

Women should be restricted to work connected with the home and children. They should not engage in politics, commerce or industries. Do you agree? Write at least five sentences in your essay. -For children, Mother's role is very important. because children look their mother and learn about life thing. They shold get dicipline when they are getting grow with mother's love. Also, women is important to engage in their life. I think women should not be restricted to work because of children. I think this can be reilieve if their company or work politic gave them more adjustable time schedule to women's role.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름],

Good morning! Thank you for this homework. You did a great job. I made some corrections please check them and be guided. See you on Monday! Happy weekend!

~Teacher Verna

Women should be restricted to work connected with the home and children.They should not engage in politics, commerce or industries. Do you agree? Write at least five sentences in your essay.

>>Correct

-For children, mother\'s role is very important.

>>Correct

because children look their mother and learn about life thing.

>>Because children look after their mother and learn about things in life.

They shold get dicipline when they are getting grow with mother\'s love.

>>They should be disciplined while growing up with their mother\'s love.

Also, women is important to engage in their life.

>> Women should also engage in their life.

I think women should not be restricted to work because of children.

>>Correct

I think this can be reilieve if their company or work politic gave them more adjustable time schedule to women\'s role.

>>I think this can be relieved if their company or work politic gave them more adjustable time schedule to fulfill women\'s role.

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