My family life's change

2016-05-25 · 첨삭 강사 Lynn

학생이 쓴 원문

Today(wednesday, May 25) is my 25th wedding anniversary. I got married in 1991. The next year have a son. Another three years later, second son was being born again. Now My older son is 25 years old, younger son is 22 in Korean age. I worked as a journalist since 1988. This year become a 28 years. I had worked for a newspaper until 10 years ago, but since august 2006, I am working for a magazine. I have two times moving. I lived in changdong, Dobong province until 2006. In 2006, I moved in samsungdong, Kangnam province. And now I live in ahyeondong, Mapo province, here moved in 2015. I have been promoted at the company. There have been many changes in 30 years. My sons is growing, I and my wife is becoming increasingly old. Household atmosphere has changed, too. In the old days, it's loud. But now it's silent. In the old days, four people were at home, now only two people(I and my wife) is at home. Everythings was changed. The biggest change is that I was older. I accept it.

강사 첨삭

Hello sir,

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

This composition is like your self introduction. I like it. So you\'d been a journalist for 28 years. You\'d been married for 25 years. Wow! I have a question sir, do you think your accomplishments are enough? Or do you have another goal that you\'d like to accomplish? Do tell me about it in class. See you!

Take care!

~T. Lynn

Today(Wednesday, May 25) is my 25th wedding anniversary.

>>correct!

I got married in 1991.

>>correct!

The next year have a son.

>> The next year, I had a son.

Another three years later, second son was being born again.

>>Three years later, our second son was born.

Now My older son is 25 years old, younger son is 22 in Korean age.

>>Now, my older son is 25 years old and my younger son is 22 in Korean age.

I worked as a journalist since 1988.

>>correct!

This year become a 28 years.

>>This year is my 28th year.(as a journalist)

I had worked for a newspaper until 10 years ago, but since august 2006, I am working for a magazine.

>>I had worked for a newspaper until 10 years ago but since August 2006, I had been working for a magazine.

I have two times moving.

>>I have moved two times.

I lived in changdong, Dobong province until 2006.

>>correct (Upper case:Changdong)

In 2006, I moved in samsungdong, Kangnam province.

>>correct ( Upper case Samsungdong)

And now I live in ahyeondong, Mapo province, here moved in 2015.

>>And now, I live in Ahyeondong Mapo province. I moved here in 2015.

I have been promoted at the company.

>>I had been promoted at the company.

There have been many changes in 30 years.

>>correct!

My sons is growing, I and my wife is becoming increasingly old.

>>My sons are growing. My wife and I are getting older.

Household atmosphere has changed, too. In the old days, it\'s loud.

>>correct!

But now it\'s silent. In the old days, four people were at home, now only two people(I and my wife) is at home.

>>correct (My wife and I)

Everythings was changed.

>>Everything had changed.

The biggest change is that I was older. I accept it.

>> The biggest change is that I am older. I accept it.

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