My favorite music artist

2024-01-09 · 첨삭 강사 Donna

학생이 쓴 원문

My favorite artist in Korea is GOD that is a boy idol group. They are 5 men and they debuted about 25 years ago. So you can say they are the old idol. But their songs are still being loved from a lot of fans and they continuously held their concert. I went to their concert with my boy friend a month ago. It was really funny and amazing. They have a lot of good songs, so I can\'t choose one of my favorite songs but I like these songs like normal day, 0%, one of candle, etc. If I have a chance, I want to go their concert again.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]!

It is good to see you again here on the composition page.

It is safe to say that the old K-pop groups are the OGs (original gangsters -meaning: a slang term for someone who\'s incredibly exceptional, authentic, or “old-school\"). 

Your exposition shows just a few grammatical suggestions. The sentences are written correctly and display mastery of simple to complex grammar skills. Keep up the good work!

See you again soon.

-T. Donna~

My favorite artist in Korea is GOD that is a boy idol group. 
>> Correct!

They are 5 men and they debuted about 25 years ago. 
>> Correct!

So you can say they are the old idol. 
>> So you can say they are the old idols

But their songs are still being loved from a lot of fans and they continuously held their concert. 
>> Correct!

I went to their concert with my boy friend a month ago. 
>> Correct!

It was really funny and amazing. 
>> Correct!

They have a lot of good songs, so I can\'t choose one of my favorite songs but I like these songs like normal day, 0%, one of candle, etc. 
>> Correct!
Or: They have a lot of good songs, so I can\'t choose one of my favorite songs but I like these songs like Normal Day, 0%, One of Candle, etc. 

If I have a chance, I want to go their concert again.
>> If I have a chance, I want to go to their concert again.

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