My homework
학생이 쓴 원문
ESSAY: Nowadays people’s life is changing rapidly and, as a result, family relationships are affected. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience.
Personally, I think there are many disadvantages.
Because less time for family to gather.
For example, I spent time personally because all of my parents went to work.
I was very lonely and it affected my personality formation quite a bit.
I got a little impatient.
Therefore, given that the family\'s time is reduced, the current family has many disadvantages.
강사 첨삭
Hi there Lee! It\'s been a long time since I last checked your essay! I was surprised to check your essays in a row. Thank you! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Personally, I think there are many disadvantages.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Because less time for family to gather.
Because less time for family to gather.
>>> Because there\'s less time for a family to come together.
For example, I spent time personally because all of my parents went to work.
For example, I spent time personally because all of my parents went to work.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> For example, I spent time on my own because both of my parents are at work.
I was very lonely and it affected my personality formation quite a bit.
I was very lonely and it affected my personality formation quite a bit.
>>> I felt very lonely, and it had a significant impact on my personality development.
I got a little impatient.
I got a little impatient.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Therefore, given that the family\'s time is reduced, the current family has many disadvantages.
Therefore, given that the family\'s time is reduced, the current family has many disadvantages.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> As a result, the reduced time families have together brings about several disadvantages in modern family life.
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