my homework
학생이 쓴 원문
HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Nowadays, people work too hard. What is the reason for this? What should employers do to prevent employees from overworking?
Nowadays, Many korean people work hard. This phenomenon don\'t stay in this country, it spread all around the world.
I think that it is under controled by economical problem. Development of Internet network and Changing work style, We have to work all day long. if we don\'t work everyday, we are fired and then, can\'t do anything because we don\'t have any money.
강사 첨삭
Hi there Lee! Thank you for doing your homework! Your essay presents an interesting idea about the pressure people feel to work constantly in modern society. The topic is relevant and your main message is understandable. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Nowadays, Many korean people work hard.
>>> Nowadays, many Korean people work very hard.
This phenomenon don\'t stay in this country, it spread all around the world.
>>> This phenomenon is not limited to Korea; it has spread all around the world.
I think that it is under controled by economical problem.
>>> I think it is mainly caused by economic problems.
Development of Internet network and Changing work style, We have to work all day long. if we don\'t work everyday, we are fired and then, can\'t do anything because we don\'t have any money.
>>> With the development of the internet and changes in working styles, people often feel that they have to work all the time. If they do not work every day, they may lose their jobs and end up unable to support themselves because they have no income.
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