my homework in 11, Jul
학생이 쓴 원문
I think if we lower the legal age for drinking alcohol, we may go through a lot of wrong situations. Just more than 19 years old people can enjoy drinking alcohol in Korea. It means that they have to graduate a high school. (Of course, someone can’t graduate school.) If we reduce that legal, many younger students will enjoy thoughtless drinking. It will be not right thing.
In case of the West, many younger guys and girls enjoy having party from when they were young. On the other hand, we have no culture like the West. So most of Korean learn first time to how to drink alcohol by their parents or close relation. In case of this, they can learn the right drinking habit and culture by their family. However, if teenagers can enjoy drinking, maybe they can’t control themselves. They can’t distinguish between right and wrong and they are so curious about all of things. Therefore, if they can enjoy drinking without any restriction, they may burgle money for entertainment expenses, do drunk driving without license or have a gang fight. And then, alcohol is not good for health and growth for teenagers as well as mental health. Of course they can be addicted alcoholic easily. (Some adults, too) Just one wrong habit of drinking alcohol will make them to unhappy and poor life.
Thus, I think that we must not lower the legal age for drinking alcohol to prevent a lot of wrong situation like that.
It is finally Friday today. See you on Friday night! Sheela!
강사 첨삭
Blessed Friday Mr. [이름],
Yesterday, you were confuse on when to use don\'t and can\'t.Now, I think you are confuse on when to use by and from.Let\'s talk about this in our class. See you later!
T.Sheela
I think if we lower the legal age for drinking alcohol, we may go through a lot of wrong situations.
>>Correct!
Just more than 19 years old people can enjoy drinking alcohol in Korea.
>>19 years old people and above can enjoy drinking alcohol in Korea.
It means that they have to graduate a high school.
>>It means that they have to graduate high school.
(Of course, someone can’t graduate school.)
>>(Of course, some can’t graduate from high school.)
If we reduce that legal, many younger students will enjoy thoughtless drinking.
>>If we reduce the legal age, many younger students will enjoy thoughtless drinking.
It will be not right thing.
>>It will be not the right thing.In case of the West, many younger guys and girls enjoy having party from when they were young.
>>In case of the Wester people, many younger guys and girls enjoy having party while they are still young
On the other hand, we have no culture like the West.
>> Correct!
>>On the other hand, we have no culture like the Western people.
So most of Korean learn first time to how to drink alcohol by their parents or close relation.
>> So most of Korean learn their first alcoholic drink from their parents or close relatives.
In case of this, they can learn the right drinking habit and culture by their family.
>>In this case, they can learn the right drinking habit and culture from their family.
However, if teenagers can enjoy drinking, maybe they can’t control themselves.
>>Correct!
They can’t distinguish between right and wrong and they are so curious about all of things.
>> They can’t distinguish between right and wrong and they are so curious about all of things.
Therefore, if they can enjoy drinking without any restriction, they may burgle money for entertainment expenses, do drunk driving without license or have a gang fight.
>>Therefore, if they can enjoy drinking without any restriction, they may burgle money for entertainment expenses, they will drive without license or have a gang fight.
And then, alcohol is not good for health and growth for teenagers as well as mental health.
>>And then, alcohol is not good for health and for the growth of the teenagers as well as to their mental health.
Of course they can be addicted alcoholic easily.
>>Of course they can be addicted to alcohol easily.
>>OR Of course they can be alcoholic easily.
(Some adults, too) Just one wrong habit of drinking alcohol will make them to unhappy and poor life.
>>(Some adults, too) Just one wrong habit of drinking alcohol will make them unhappy and have a poor life. Thus, I think that we must not lower the legal age for drinking alcohol to prevent a lot of wrong situation like that.
>>Thus, I think that we must not lower the legal age for drinking alcohol to prevent a lot of wrong situation like those things I have mentioned.It is finally Friday today. See you on Friday night! Sheela!
>>Correct!
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.