my homework in 16, Jul
학생이 쓴 원문
Changing of culinary culture makes to changing of our life style. Nowadays, we can enjoy many kind of food and we can get food easier than before. It has provided great convenience for our and it has made our pleasure of eating became maximization. However, it has made a dark side as make lots of waste and animal abuse.
Modern times, we can easily buy many kind of fresh vegetable in grocery store, and we can get fresh meat or fish in our town even if we don’t go to farm or sea. Even, we can buy food supplies on website with just one click! Furthermore, if you want to get some special food made by another country, you can do it even if you must pay a lot. Also, when you are so busy, you can buy some food which was made like sandwich or fast food in anywhere. Thus, our effort and time for preparing food and making cook have extremely reduced than before as well as our pleasure of eating has grown.
However, we have lost appreciation about food because we can get them so easy. So, a lot of food supplies are wasted by people, furthermore, there are a lot of pigs, cows and chickens are raised in cramped and inadequate cage for pleasure of people. It means just eating for human.
We should consider about animals those who are sacrificed as much as we are provided convenience by technological development.
I hope you will have a good day. See you!
강사 첨삭
You are absolutely right about your composition. People nowadays fail to see how convenient their lives are. Many people in other countries are starving because of lack of food but some of us needlessly throw away food. I\'m glad you\'re very concerned about this situation. Let\'s try to do something each day to change this mind set. Have a great day too.
T. Sheela
Changing of culinary culture makes to changing of our life style.
>>Changing culinary culture is also like changing our lifestyle.
Nowadays, we can enjoy many kind of food and we can get food easier than before.
>>Nowadays, we can enjoy many kinds of food and we can get food easier than before.
It has provided great convenience for our and it has made our pleasure of eating became maximization.
>>It has provided us with great convenience and made us enjoy eating more.
However, it has made a dark side as make lots of waste and animal abuse.
>>However, the downside to this is it makes a lot of waste and causes animal abuse.Modern times, we can easily buy many kind of fresh vegetable in grocery store, and we can get fresh meat or fish in our town even if we don’t go to farm or sea.
>>In the modern times, we can easily buy many kinds of fresh vegetables in the grocery store and we can get fresh meat or fish in our town even if we don\'t go to the farm or sea.
Even, we can buy food supplies on website with just one click!
>>We can even buy food online with just one click!
Furthermore, if you want to get some special food made by another country, you can do it even if you must pay a lot.
>>Furthermore, we can buy imported food even if it\'s expensive.
Also, when you are so busy, you can buy some food which was made like sandwich or fast food in anywhere.
>>Also, when we are so busy, we can easily buy sandwich from fast food restaurants anywhere.
>>Also when we are busy, we can buy from fast food restaurants various kinds of food.
Thus, our effort and time for preparing food and making cook have extremely reduced than before as well as our pleasure of eating has grown.
>>Thus, our effort and time for preparing food and cooking has been reduced but our pleasure for eating has grown.However, we have lost appreciation about food because we can get them so easy.
>>Correct!
So, a lot of food supplies are wasted by people, furthermore, there are a lot of pigs, cows and chickens are raised in cramped and inadequate cage for pleasure of people.
>>So a lot of food supplies are being wasted by people. Furthermore, there are a lot of pigs, cows, chickens and other livestocks which are being raised in cramped and inadequate cages for the pleasure of people.
It means just eating for human.
>>It\'s only for human consumption.We should consider about animals those who are sacrificed as much as we are provided convenience by technological development. >>We should consider the animals being consumed as much as we consider technological development.I hope you will have a good day.
>>Correct!
See you! >>Correct!
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