my homework in 21, Jun
학생이 쓴 원문
Choose an important person that you have looked up to and who has helped you in your life. In a 200 word essay explain who this person is why you look up to her (him) and how the person has helped you. Be specific and give examples.
I haven’t found the person who I have looked up to for my life and my field. I know, finding the person who I have respected is so important for living correct my life. The person will be a role model of my road. Now, I have no my role model, but I’m going to guess about that.
If I choice the person who I have looked up to, the person is an architect and has passion for his life and job. Also maybe he is single who never get married and had studied abroad in U.K. and furthermore, had worked for sustainable building in U.K. or North Europe for more than 3 year. Verity experience in abroad have made that he have lived freely life.
Perhaps, he may recommend me about the road of what I want. For instance, he informs what I should for studying abroad and what I should choice the school for my study. And then I can get some good advises about that design the sustainable architecture. Of course, I can listen his knowhow which the role of single life. He can talk to me how to don’t indulge in loneliness and unsightliness while I live alone. I really want to find my role model as soon as possible.
Finally, it is Friday! Enjoy our weekend!
강사 첨삭
Hello Mr. [이름],
I really hope that you\'ll be able to find the person whom you can looked up with. I think you are looking for a man who has lived the life that you want. You criteria in searching that important person is not easy to find, but I am wish you good luck on your search. See you later!
T.Sheela
Choose an important person that you have looked up to and who has helped you in your life. In a 200 word essay explain who this person is why you look up to her (him) and how the person has helped you. Be specific and give examples.I haven’t found the person who I have looked up to for my life and my field.
>> I haven’t found the person who I have looked up to in my life and my field.
I know, finding the person who I have respected is so important for living correct my life.
>> I know that finding the person who I respected is so important in living my correct life.
The person will be a role model of my road.
>> Correct!
>>OR The person will be my role model.
Now, I have no my role model, but I’m going to guess about that.
>> Now, I have no role model, but I’m going to guess someone.
>>OR Now, I have no role model, but I’m going to find that person.If I choice the person who I have looked up to, the person is an architect and has passion for his life and job.
>> Correct!
Also maybe he is single who never get married and had studied abroad in U.K. and furthermore, had worked for sustainable building in U.K. or North Europe for more than 3 year.
>> Also,maybe he is single who never got married and had studied abroad in U.K. .Furthermore, he had worked in sustainable a building in U.K. or North Europe for more than 3 year.
Verity experience in abroad have made that he have lived freely life.
>> Varity of experience in abroad has made him have to lived a free life. Perhaps, he may recommend me about the road of what I want.
>> Correct!
For instance, he informs what I should for studying abroad and what I should choice the school for my study.
>> For instances, he can inform me on what I should study abroad and what school should I choose for my study.
And then I can get some good advises about that design the sustainable architecture.
>> And then, I can get some good advises about the designs that is sustainable for architecture.
Of course, I can listen his knowhow which the role of single life.
>> Of course, I can listen his on how he manage his single life.
He can talk to me how to don’t indulge in loneliness and unsightliness while I live alone.
>>He can talk to me on how to avoid the indulgeness of loneliness and unsightliness of being alone.
I really want to find my role model as soon as possible.
>> Correct!Finally, it is Friday! Enjoy our weekend!
>>Correct!
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