my homework in 27, Apr

2012-04-27 · 첨삭 강사 Sheela

학생이 쓴 원문

How might communities help prevent gang violence? Nowadays, gang violence at school has become so serious social problem in Korea. Some students have made gang group with their friends and seniors. These groups have fought each other and have harassed many students who didn’t enter their group. They use force to students and habitually extort money and goods. In some case, student, who have been continuously harassed, take his own life with suicide note. So, government and social community decide to try to solve this problem together. Well, policeman is not many time to control all things at school and if they stay at school all day, many students may be scared. Therefore, social communities were made by student’s parents decided to observe school zone themselves. In particular they have gone with school student to home when students leave at school. And then a lot of problems around school zone rapidly decrease. It’s the good case of how might communities help prevent gang violence. According to this case, social communities can help to prevent violence where policeman can’t control all things, for instance school zone, vacation spot and so on. I’ll participate in farewell party today. Maybe I can enjoy eating duck meat. Anyway, have a nice weekend! See you next Monday. For reference, I’ll take a break until next Tuesday because next Tuesday is the Labor Day, so my company decided to don’t work Monday, too. 4 days holidays! But, I have no special plan.

강사 첨삭

 Gangs have become a real annoyance in the society. It\'s really amazing how brave they are when their with their groups. I\'m glad that you\'ll have a really long vacation this weekend. I really envy you kkkk Do have fun though! See you next week!   Teacher Sheela   How might communities help prevent gang violence? Nowadays, gang violence at school has become so serious social problem in Korea. >>Nowadays, gang violence at school has become a serious social problem in Korea. Some students have made gang group with their friends and seniors. >>Some students have made gangs with their friends and seniors. These groups have fought each other and have harassed many students who didn’t enter their group. >>Correct! >>These groups have fought and harassed many students who didn\'t join their group. They use force to students and habitually extort money and goods. >>Correct! In some case, student, who have been continuously harassed, take his own life with suicide note. >>In some cases, students who have been continuously harassed take their own life. >>In some cases, students who have been continuously harassed commit suicide.So, government and social community decide to try to solve this problem together. >>So the government and the social community decided to try to solve this problem together.  Well, policeman is not many time to control all things at school and if they stay at school all day, many students may be scared. >>Well, policemen don\'t have the luxury of time to control all things at school. Besides, if they stay at schools all day, may students may be scared. Therefore, social communities were made by student’s parents decided to observe school zone themselves. >>Therefor, social communities were made by students and parents decided to observe school zones themselves. In particular they have gone with school student to home when students leave at school. >>In particular, they drop and pick up their kids at schools. And then a lot of problems around school zone rapidly decrease. >>And then a lot of problems around school zones rapidly decreased. It’s the good case of how might communities help prevent gang violence. >>It\'s one good example of how communities might help preven gang violence.According to this case, social communities can help to prevent violence where policeman can’t control all things, for instance school zone, vacation spot and so on. >>According to this case, social communities can help prevent violence where policemen have limited control of things. For instance, school zones, vacation spots and so on.I’ll participate in farewell party today. >>I\'ll participate in a farewell party today. Maybe I can enjoy eating duck meat. >>Correct! Anyway, have a nice weekend! >>Correct! See you next Monday. >>Correct! For reference, I’ll take a break until next Tuesday because next Tuesday is the Labor Day, so my company decided to don’t work Monday, too. 4 days holidays! >>For reference, I\'ll take a break until next Tuesday because next Tuesday is the Labor Day, so my company declared Monday as a day off too. We have four days holiday! But, I have no special plan. >>Correct!

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