My ideal vacation

2019-12-18 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

I think the perfect vacation makes me feel complete relax. Therefore, my ideal vacation is spending time in luxury hotel. In the hotel, I can order room services for my meal, do not have to clean the room, and also can enjoy swimming pool. What a perfect vacation it is! If I get a job in the early future, I will go my ideal vacation when I got first salary. Why I don not think traveling is a perfect vacation is, It is exhausting in various way. Even though we eat more food then usual, travel makes us walking a lot. Also, If we go abroad to travel, we cannot help getting nervous. As a result, traveling is not complete relax activity. I wish the day that I go vacation to hotel comes soon.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! Thank you for your thoughts on this one. I really appreciate the effort. Keep it up!  ^^ 
I totally agree with you, travelling to places could be really fun but the thought of going through all the hassles of travelling makes it more tiring than relaxing. I think spending a relaxing time at a luxurious hotel is a great way to go on a vacation! ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah

I think the perfect vacation makes me feel complete relax.
>>I think a perfect vacation would be when I feel so completely relaxed. 
Therefore, my ideal vacation is spending time in luxury hotel. 
>>Therefore, my ideal vacation is spending time in a luxury hotel. 
In the hotel, I can order room services for my meal, do not have to clean the room, and also can enjoy swimming pool.
>>In the hotel, I can order room services for my meal, do not have to clean the room, and also I can enjoy swimming at the pool.
What a perfect vacation it is! 
>>CORRECT
If I get a job in the early future, I will go my ideal vacation when I got first salary.
>>If I will have a job earlier in the future, I would spend my first salary on my ideal vacation.
Why I don not think traveling is a perfect vacation is, It is exhausting in various way. 
>>While travelling is not quite the ideal vacation for me as it is exhausting in various ways.
Even though we eat more food then usual, travel makes us walking a lot. 
>>Even though we get to eat more than usual, we tend to walk more.
Also, If we go abroad to travel, we cannot help getting nervous.
>>Also, if we travel abroad, we can\'t help getting nervous. 
As a result, traveling is not complete relax activity. 
>>Hence, I would say that travelling is not quite a relaxing activity.
I wish the day that I go vacation to hotel comes soon.
>>I wish going on a hotel vacation will come/happen soon.

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