My opinion

If I do my business, I want to build my own department store where have many special store, because many people like doing shopping in department store, even some people say, shopping is one of their hobby. So it can be good business. It also has been popular facilities to people, so it'll help to make a lot of money. And If I concentrate on one shop among them, I want to make good place to eat and take a rest. I hope, this dreams come true, and I become a good business woman.

Hello [이름]!

Wow!  That's one amazing dream job out there!  I hope that you would really be a successful businesswoman someday.  Remember,  think positively!  That's the first step in achieving positive results.  And don't forget about me if you have your own department store already ok. haha! See you tomorrow!

Monica

If I do my business, I want to build my own department store where have many special store, because many people like doing shopping in department store, even some people say, shopping is one of their hobby.

>>>If I'll have my own business I want to own a department store wherein there are different stores(maybe you're talking about  a mall) because people enjoy shopping and some of them actually consider it their hobby.

 So it can be good business. It also has been popular facilities to people, so it'll help to make a lot of money.

>>>So it can be a good business.  It's a popular facility to people so we can make a lot of money out of it.

 And If I concentrate on one shop among them, I want to make good place to eat and take a rest.

>>>My business will offer them a place to eat and take a rest.

 I hope, this dreams come true, and I become a good business woman.

>>>I hope to fulfill this dream of becoming a successful business woman. or you can say entrepreneur