My opinion for growing children
학생이 쓴 원문
Dear [Name],
When I was children, I lived in country. it is only a ground for rice and vegetable nearby my house.
I knew that it was all of world. but when I grew up, I acknowledged another things inthe world.
That was a city with cars, buses, trains, buildings...
I ate only rice with Kimchi, but a children in city ate a chinese food, stake . . I did not know at that time.
Now, I had a lot of friends. High school , university, company. Most of them live in city. They don\'t understand my children\'s time. They ate a delicious food everyday. but I didn\'t.
So, I agree with living city when there is children.
강사 첨삭
1. When I was children, I lived in country.
>>When I was a child, I lived in the countryside.
2. it is only a ground for rice and vegetable nearby my house.
>>There is only a ground for rice and vegetables nearby our house.
3. I knew that it was all of world.
>>I knew that it was all of the world.
4. but when I grew up, I acknowledged another things inthe world.
>>But when I grew up, I acknowledged another thing in the world.
5. That was a city with cars, buses, trains, buildings...
>>That was the city with cars, buses, trains, buildings and more.
6. I ate only rice with Kimchi, but a children in city ate a chinese food, stake . .
>>I ate only rice with kimchi, but children in the city ate Chinese food, steak and more.
7. I did not know at that time.
>>I did not know it at that time.
8. Now, I had a lot of friends.
>>Now, I have a lot of friends.
9. High school , university, company.
>>I met them when I was in high school , in the university and in the company.
10. Most of them live in city.
>>Most of them live in the city.
11. They don\'t understand my children\'s time.
>>They don\'t understand my childhood.
12. They ate a delicious food everyday.
>>They ate delicious food everyday.
13. but I didn\'t.
>>But, I didn\'t.
14. So, I agree with living city when there is children.
>>So, I agree that children should live in the city.
Very good.
- T. Melody ^^
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