my perfect day
학생이 쓴 원문
I will speech about my perfect day.
When I was child, I love puppy. But, my parents opposed to raise a puppy. Because dog’s fur is not good for health; skin trouble and nasal inflammation. I was a middle school freshmen, I really wanted to raise puppy. So, I suggested my parents. In the final exam, if my score average is 10 points up, why don’t you agree that I raised the dog? Finally, I tested the final exam and I hardly pass the cut line for 10.1 rising up. Maybe, I had longed for a long time. So, it was come true. After, I bought my puppy. The puppy which gave our family smile is Mi-so.
강사 첨삭
Ji Hee,
I am so happy to know about one of the happiest days of your life. I like dogs, too. In fact, we have two dogs at home. The other one is a pit-bull and the other’s a golden retriever. I can vividly recall those days when I first laid my eyes on them when my mom took them home. These days, they are already big and still they don’t fade in making us happy. I am sure that is exactly how you are feeling towards Mi-So. Thanks for writing and have a great day! ;)
XOXO, Jenny
I will speech about my perfect day.
>>I will speak about my perfect day.
>> I will talk about my perfect day.
When I was child, I love puppy.
>>When I was a child, I loved puppies.
But, my parents opposed to raise a puppy. Because dog’s fur is not good for health; skin trouble and nasal inflammation.
>>But, my parents opposed to raising a puppy because it’s fur is not good for the health and may cause skin troubles and nasal inflammation.
I was a middle school freshmen, I really wanted to raise puppy.
>> When I was a middle school freshman, I really wanted to raise a puppy.
So, I suggested my parents.
>>So, I suggested it to my parents.
In the final exam, if my score average is 10 points up, why don’t you agree that I raised the dog?
>> I haggled with them that if I get an average point of 10 points or above, they would agree for me to raise a dog.
Finally, I tested the final exam and I hardly pass the cut line for 10.1 rising up.
>> Finally, I took the final exam and I got an average of 10.1
Maybe, I had longed for a long time. So, it was come true.
>>I might have longed for it for a long time so it came true.
After, I bought my puppy
>> Then, I bought my puppy which I named Mi-so.
The puppy which gave our family smile is Mi-so.
>>Mi-so always make my family smile.
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