my recurring dream

Hello [이름]!

Please take note of the suggestions below.

Focus on the common usage of expressions.

you can practice the same pattern in your other compositions.^^

~~ Teacher Sharon

When I was an elementary school, I wanted to be a ballerina.

>> When I was an elementary school student, I wanted to be a ballerina.

I was toucched by a Russian movie based on the real story of Russian poor girl who wanted to be a ballerina.

>> I was touched by a Russian movie based on the real story of a Russian poor girl who wanted to be a ballerina.

I stayed awake very late, watching the movie.

>> I stayed awake until very late, watching the movie.

Since I watched it, I had always wanted to be a ballerina until at the age of 14.

>> Since I watched it, I had always wanted to be a ballerina until the age of 14.
Knowing that being a ballerina is a tough job, I gave it up.

>> Correct

One day, I visited a ballet academy where my friend went to.

>> One day, I visited a ballet academy that my friend went to.

She was a registered student.

>> Correct

I put on a pair of toe shoes, danced and imitated some movements.

>> Correct

I enjoyed myself a lot.

>> Correct

While doing that, I felt thrilled and happy.

>> Correct
But when I took off them, my toenails were bleeding.

>> However, when I took my shoes off, my toenails were bleeding.

I was very surprised.

>> Correct 

Actually my friend\'s calf and thigh muscles were so big.

>> Correct

I hated having big muscles.

>> Correct

Since then, I changed my dream.

>> Since then, my dream changed.

Now I\'m in 40s.

>> Now, I\'m in my 40s.

If I hadn\'t seen the shocking bleeding scene, I would have signed for the academy.

>> If I hadn\'t seen the shocking bleeding scene, I would have enrolled in the academy.

I might have practiced very hard, if I could given a chance to to to a academy.

>> I might have practiced very hard, if I was given the chance to attend the academy.

Sometimes I miss my old dream.

>> Correct