My sister

2010-08-10 · 첨삭 강사 janel

학생이 쓴 원문

Every day when I see my sister, I just want to laugh. Because, since she lost her front teeth she looks like a funny bunny. Also when she eats, she looks like cute girl and she used to chew any kind of food only just once and just swallow. But now, she can't eat like that anymore, because of her front teeth. And when she jumps, she really look like a cute bunny is hopping and jumping. Also when she was young I thought that she was a boy. Actually I really wanted to have a little brother. But now, I like her better than a little brother. I hope her front teeth won't grow and stay like as a cute hopping jumping bunny.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! Be careful with what you wish for.:) Anyway, your sister seems cute.

Here are your corrections: -Teacher JM

Every day when I see my sister, I just want to laugh.

>>>Correct
Because, since she lost her front teeth she looks like a funny bunny.

>>>Because ever since she lost her front teeth, she's been looking like a funny bunny.

Also when she eats, she looks like cute girl and she used to chew any kind of food only just once and just swallow.

>>>Before, she was cute girl who chews any kind of food only just once before swallowing. **try to avoid starting your sentences with the word 'also'
But now, she can't eat like that anymore, because of her front teeth.

>>>But now, she can't eat like that anymore because of her missing front teeth.
And when she jumps, she really look like a cute bunny is hopping and jumping.

>>>And when she jumps, she really look like a cute bunny that's hopping and jumping.
Also when she was young I thought that she was a boy.

>>>When she was young, I thought that she was a boy.
Actually I really wanted to have a little brother.

>>>Correct

But now, I like her better than a little brother.

>>>But now, I like having her better than a having a little brother.

I hope her front teeth won't grow and stay like as a cute hopping jumping bunny.

>>>I hope her front teeth won't grow so that she would stay as a cute, hopping bunny.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기